Six realistic tips for parents to help teach their children to be organized from a young age.
This blog post is not about helping your kids put away their things. It's to help you as a parent engrain sorting, tidying, organizing, and cleaning into their daily life so that it's simply a part of them when they get older. Keeping my home organized does so much more than make my house look good for guests. It soothes my soul and makes me happier, in return giving me a better quality of life with my family.
People always say, "Melissa, organizing is easy for you; this is what you do." That is not actually true. I was not one of those kids or adults who was always organized. My mum would happily tell you that she often called my room a sh*t tip or a pig sty. My room was always a mess, and after doing what I do now, I know why. It's simply because I was never taught how to put things away or given systems to manage my mess.
I am going to give you some strategies to try. Remember that nothing is a one-time thing; these things take time and patience to instill on our kids and often come with a side of frustration, yelling, and bribery.
Just in case you have given up on me: An 85-year ongoing study conducted by Harvard Research has found a strong connection between doing chores and later professional success and happiness. The findings showed that shared responsibilities help children develop greater self-worth, confidence, work ethic, and empathy for others.
This cool eight year old wanted to use the word weapons but inside was age appropriate nurf guns! He was super smart had a great vocabulary and this is his space!
Managing your Expectations.
The most essential part of all this is managing your expectations as a parent. Please don't expect your children to make everything perfect. There will be children who thrive on this and love making things perfect, but patience is key to success most of the time.
If your kiddo puts things away but doesn't get the items in the right category, praise them and then show them how to improve it. ' Hey, good job!! I love that you tried to put everything away. I can see that the Barbies are in the American Girl Doll bin. Let's put them in the Barbie bin together. Can you see the label that says Barbie? Let's get that bin and make sure the Barbies are in there. Good job, thank you for helping categorize your dolls properly.
By praising your child, you are giving them confidence and highlighting what they did well. Then you're showing them how to make it better together. I expect you to have to do this a lot, and then once you know your kiddos are just being lazy, you can remind them that they know how to do it. Being organized makes everyone enjoy being home more. This is not about you as a parent; this is about constantly reminding our children that a tidy, organized home benefits everyone in the house. It's not just what the adults want!
TOP TIP: Be patient, even when you think they have it down. Remind them gently. Do it with them again. Show them that you also like to be organized and that you're willing to take the extra time to keep their space nice for them, too.
2. Tell them what you are doing and why. Start when they are 2 and 3 years old.
My son is in ECE3; They have songs about tidying up, and all the toys have specific homes. Kitchen play goes in the kitchen, not with the building blocks. Why we think they are too young to tidy up at home makes no sense to me! With that in mind, here are some things I do with my little guy.
When he is in the kitchen, I say things like:
' I am wiping down the counter before it gets too messy. I like to have the surface clean before I do something else.'
'Let's put all the ingredients back before we put the cake in the oven. The milk can go in the fridge, and the other ingredients will go in the correct bin in the pantry.'
' You have finished eating. Let's clean you up, and then let's wipe down the table, vacuum the floor, and put your dishes in the dishwasher. ‘
By sharing the simple tasks I do all the time, I am allowing him to learn that these things are everyday tasks, and this is how it's done. I don't expect him to do all of them, but over time, he has begun to tell me what to do. My son gets a kick out of putting things in the trash, so tidying up is currently fun. Once they learn that this is how mum and dad do it, they can then learn to do it themselves.
TOP TIP: Get used to telling your kids what and why you are doing things. We want them to know why so they understand. It's time to put the laundry on; we want to avoid wearing stinky clothes to school this week! Oh, there goes the dryer. Let's fold our clothes together and put them away so we know where to find them.
3. Choose books that talk about organizing and tidying and read and talk about them to your kids.
I have to be honest; I had never really thought about this until I was listening to a story called 'A Place for Everything' by Sean Covey. The story teaches children the importance of being organized and putting things away properly so they can easily access them when needed. I love to read to my son, so I went to the library to find other books about organizing for kids. We like to watch books being read on YouTube as well as reading them, so know that's an option!
Here are some other books I suggest:
TOP TIP: Explain to your kids that it's hard to be organized and tidy all the time, but with practice, it gets easier. Explain it has its benefits like making things easy to find, the house looks and feels nice, and having more space to play when things are away.
4. Actions speak louder than words.
Please only expect your children to be tidy and organized if you are. You can't expect them to want to tidy their room if yours is a mess too. Monkey see, Monkey do.
This does not mean that your kids can't learn along with you. Start by tidying the main areas of the home and explaining why you are doing it. Tell them how it makes you feel when things are organized and put away. Get everyone involved in the process. This is sometimes when I get hired, as it can be challenging to start. A professional Organizer can help you change a space quickly and should give you ideas on tackling other areas in your home, too.
Don't give up here if you're not organized. You can be! That should be my next blog post, let's stick to your kids. So, start by being organized, showing them how you do it, and then they can follow.
5. Get them involved in the process.
Yes, you can donate the toys when they are not there! Yes, they might miss one, but sometimes, as parents, we have a right to make decisions that benefit our ears or our child's development. You can choose which excuse you use.
Sometimes we know what's best, but pay attention to what your kids are playing with before you do so you feel confident in your choices. We know our kids well, and we trust you can do this. If you are in doubt, ask them.
When organizing their room or their space, ask them if they want to choose the colors of the bins. You can even take them to Target with set goals, such as: Today, we will choose 4 bins and a new bookshelf. You can choose them, but we are not getting anything else. Be clear and confident!
If you are making labels for the bins(which I 100% suggest you do with all kid's spaces), ask them to suggest the category or word you put on the label. Often, what makes sense to you doesn't make sense to them. If they are creative, have them make the label on a white sticky label. Draw a picture instead of the word if that's better for your kids, just get them involved. If you want them to look a particular way, do your own labels in some spaces, but let the kids do some fun ones. I suggest labeling the drawers in the dresser and the bins that their toys go in. Memory is something that builds over time, and often, kids need more reminding than us.
This is also a lovely time to start talking about donating toys. Giving to other families in need. Kids of any age can understand this. We don't just want to trash it all. So, find all the pieces, make sure it still works, and then find an organization or another family that could give it another life. Doing nice deeds as a family is a beautiful way to spend the afternoon.
When you are setting up a new system, ask them for advice. Kids will surprise you sometimes. I love working with children in their playrooms and bedrooms. This is their space, after all. Maybe they read a lot and like their books sorted in a particular way. Maybe the dolls you keep putting up high are stopping them from playing with them, and you didn't know. Anything is possible when it comes to our children.
TOP TIP: Listen to their ideas and work together. Offer your own ideas, maybe try them both ways and see what they like. Just include them and listen to them. Give their ideas a go before you say no!
You can add snacks to the draw as well to make it multi-functional or jus to do kids plates, bowls and silverware
6. Here are some tasks all kids aged 4+ can do
Put their clothes in a laundry basket. Put the basket in their room with no lid on. Make it really accessible, and then always ask for clothes in the basket. Clothes not in the basket don't get washed.
Make their bed. There are varying degrees of this, but all kids can help put pillows nicely and the PJs on the bed. Beddy's bedding zips up and is super helpful for teaching kids to make their beds.
Put their plates away after they are clean. Give the kids their own drawer in the kitchen if they are little. Show them how to put their plates, bowls, and cups in it. You can do this for snacks too. Once the dishwasher is done, take their things out and ask them to put them away. This means they can also get their plates and bowls out to set the table if that is something you do.
Put toys away in the playroom if there is a good system. Put an easy-to-understand system in place with labels. All kids should be able to follow the system if it's appropriate. Tidying up should be easy and quick.
TOP TIP: Choose 1 task and work on that for a few weeks; once they have that down, start on the next one. Over the next coming months, your kids will become accustomed to doing their organizing and tidying. This takes dedication from all parties, and as with life, some weeks will be better than others, but new habits can be made, so there is no reason why this should not work.
As you can see, your kids can do lots of tasks. With patience, clear guidance, and plenty of repetition, there is no reason your children shouldn't feel in control of keeping their spaces organized and tidy and see the value in helping us around the house.
I really do believe that if we as parents are vocalizing the tasks we do, having our kids be involved from a young age, and setting clear boundaries and expectations, our children can grow up with better organizational skills.
Your kids will be the ones at college with the super tidy room that everyone loves coming to!!
If you think all this is too much, here is another reminder as to why our kids should participate around the house. The Harvard study found that children who do chores are more likely to be successful and happy as adults:
Develops important skills: Chores teach children basic skills, responsibility, and a work ethic.
Builds self-esteem: Children who have responsibilities develop stronger self-esteem.
Promotes empathy: Chores help children develop empathy for others.
Builds a "pitch-in" mindset: Chores help children develop a mindset of contributing and helping out when needed.